Jake Mace
Actor and host of podcast Dungeons & Daddies Beth May is bringing her autobiographical solo show Beth Wants the D to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe next week. Exploring her own experience with bipolar, suicidal thoughts and the razor-thin line between sanity and madness through dark comedy. We caught up with Beth for a pixelated pint to find out why she decided to bring her story to the Fringe stage.
You can catch Beth Wants The D from July 30th to August 24th (not the 6th, 13th, or 20th) at Baby Grand at Pleasance Courtyard from 13:45 (60mins). Tickets are available through the EdFringe Online Box Office.
Jake: Hi Beth, your upcoming show is described as an autobiographical story of strength, survival and finding humour in the darkest of places – tell us about the journey you’ve been on and how you found that humour.
Beth: The journey has been weird for sure. I’ve loved writing and acting since I was a kid and I pretty much always knew I wanted to work in the arts professionally, but then freshman year of university I had my first manic episode, which resulted in me being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. University is already this very tumultuous and stressful time in life, so to go from being a relatively good student to someone who was either sleepless and psychotic or napping during every single class was…well, crazy. It absolutely felt like someone had slashed the tires of my dreams.
I suddenly had to learn all of these rules to keep my illness in check, which kind of felt like the rules for Mogwais in Gremlins, and I had to take medications that made me feel like crap even when I was mentally healthy. I rely on medication like that to this day, but the thing that has really changed is my tolerance for embarrassment and judgement, because my brain will be with me my whole life, and it’s only hurting me to feel so much shame about it.
My path to this realization was not a straight line, but something I’ve sensed the whole way is that everything that’s funny is a little bit sad, and everything that is sad is a little bit funny – for the most part. The ups and downs of the illness really drive that home for me, and I think it’s that mix of happy and sad that kind of lets me know I’m okay or on the right track. Because what’s more normal than a mixed emotion in 2025, right?
Jake: Tell us about what the audience can expect coming into the show, and what they might not expect about the show.
Beth: I think the audience can expect to laugh. I feel pretty safe saying that, pretty confident about the show’s humor. I think audiences should also expect to get a fairly close look at serious mental illness and the way it can corrode a mind or a soul. My show also delves into some radical treatments, and I think the audience will walk away with an oddly robust knowledge of how bipolar disorder can be managed and the pros and cons of different treatment options. And because I just said that last sentence I also feel a need to say that audiences should expect to not be bored. Gutsy prediction, but I have hope.
What I don’t think people will expect is how similar my story might be to theirs. Something I didn’t expect until I started performing the show is how much people seem to relate to these experiences that frankly have been very lonely for me. I was really closed off to the possibility that people could see themselves in my story, and when I found out that they could, and that they could even feel seen or inspired by some very specific and turbulent times in my life, honestly my regret is not sharing it sooner.
Jake: What are you hoping the audience might take away from the experience, if anything?
Beth: It is shockingly easy to go crazy. I know they call drowning the silent killer, but your head can just as easily slip beneath the surface of paranoia or delusion before anyone else notices, because the curtain between madness and sanity is very thin. When does religious belief become psychosis? When does grief become clinical depression? It’s really hard for most people to say. And that makes serious mental illness extremely scary. It’s both sneaky and propulsive; madness begets more madness. But the message I hope audiences walk away with is that there is also a road back to sanity. It’s often much longer, and much more exhausting, but it is absolutely possible, and it is absolutely worth fighting for.
Jake: With Edinburgh Fringe 2025 just around the corner, what are you most excited for?
Beth: I think all of it, if I’m allowed to say that. I’ve been to Edinburgh before, but never during Fringe. So I’m excited for the chance to live in Edinburgh for a month and to spend more time exploring the city. And then for Fringe specifically, I’m really interested in how the city transforms, and to feel that particular energy people keep telling me you can only experience during Fringe.
To be honest I’m a little nervous about performing my show (almost) every day for the full run. I know it’s really going to test my mental stamina, and I suppose my emotional stamina, too – it’s a vulnerable show. But I have an absolutely exceptional team by my side and everyone at our venue, Pleasance, has been amazing to work with. So at this point the excitement outweighs the nervousness. I’m very much looking forward to sharing Beth Wants the D with as many people as possible and to seeing as many other shows as I can.
Jake: Given the themes of Binge Fringe, if your show was a beverage of any kind (alcoholic, non-alcoholic – be as creative as you like!), what would it be and why?
Beth: Hmm, an upper and a downer – gotta be an Espresso Martini!
A reminder, you can catch Beth Wants The D from July 30th to August 24th (not the 6th, 13th, or 20th) at Baby Grand at Pleasance Courtyard from 13:45 (60mins). Tickets are available through the EdFringe Online Box Office.
Image Credit: Brandon Dougherty
Lamesha Ruddock
Jasmine Silk
