Jake Mace
Ready to hear about a potentially lucrative business opportunity that could help you get filthy rich? Don’t worry, I’m not turning Binge Fringe into a Pyramid Scheme – instead, I’m joined by Susan from DYKE Systems Ltd. (played by Kheski Kobler from clowning duo Fag Packet) who’s lured me in via a phishing link over email and blackmailed me into helping spread the word about this unmissable opportunity available in seminar format at EdFringe later this month.
You can catch DYKE Systems Ltd. from July 30th to August 25th (not the 6th, 12th or 19th) from 15:00 at Pleasance Courtyard – Cellar (60mins). Tickets are available through the EdFringe Online Box Office.
Jake: Hi Susan! Tell us about the fantastic business opportunity you have for us coming up at EdFringe this year.
Susan: Hello Jake. Thanks for expressing an interest in joining DYKE Systems Ltd. This is an exclusive, highly lucrative business seminar for anyone looking to unlock their inner Dynamic Young Knowledgeable Entrepreneur. With our help, you too can manifest your wildest dreams — for a small initial investment and a large emotional commitment. We like to think of DYKE Systems Ltd as one big family — a family broken into five hierarchical tiers, each tier more volatile and emotionally compromising than the last. It really is wonderful here, you’re going to fit in so well.
Jake: Tell us about what the audience can expect coming into the show, and what they might not expect about the show.
Susan: DYKE Systems Ltd is a dynamic business seminar unlike any other. Expect a crash course in MLM tactics and lesbian economics. What you might not expect? Shadowy business models, high-energy singing and dancing, and lots of scissoring jokes.
Jake: What are you hoping the audience might take away from the experience, if anything?
Susan: That DYKE’s are a cornerstone of the modern economy. Our contributions to Big Caribena, vegan milk, and independent barbershop/coffee shop hybrids are under-acknowledged.
We hope audiences leave feeling empowered to support their local dykes — emotionally but more importantly, financially
Jake: With Edinburgh Fringe 2025 just around the corner, what are you most excited for?
Susan: DYKE Systems Ltd doesn’t believe in “theatre,” per se, but we are extremely excited to generate revenue through the lucrative business of grassroots recruitment.
We’ve heard the Fringe audience is emotionally vulnerable, financially insecure, and desperate for connection — which is perfect. We can’t wait to help them.
Jake: Given the themes of Binge Fringe, if your show was a beverage of any kind (alcoholic, non-alcoholic – be as creative as you like!), what would it be and why?
Susan: Every DYKE Systems Ltd recruit is entitled to a complimentary Piña Colada. This is subject to availability. There has unfortunately never been any availability.
A reminder, you can catch DYKE Systems Ltd. from July 30th to August 25th (not the 6th, 12th or 19th) from 15:00 at Pleasance Courtyard – Cellar (60mins). Tickets are available through the EdFringe Online Box Office.
Image Credit: James Klug
Lamesha Ruddock
